Black Plastic Bags

Did you know its illegal to drink on the street? Me either. At the risk of being banned from my favorite pizza bar and music venue I need to get something off my chest. I have, after all these years made a bad decision because of crack dealers. I have tried to drink on the street.

I’ve always surrendered my cup as I departed the bar for the next bar, usually because I was finished, and the door man presumably was in charge of keeping the glassware from walking out the door. But it was a plastic cup, full of Bulleit Rye. And the band was finished. And you can do meth at any KC metro bus stop. Plus no place I know adheres to that whole 25 feet from the door smoking thing, it's too cold for that to work.

And most obviously, all the crack dealers on my street drink on the sidewalks all day. I think the bike cops put the discarded tall boy cans in the their spokes so they can sound like motorcycles. It can’t be illegal. So maybe what I needed that night that the bouncer pulled the cups from my friend’s and my hand was a black plastic bag.

Black plastic bags. Beautifying our sidewalks, in the hands of all the cool guys on the corner. These bags are as much a part of the uniform of crack dealers as heavy quilted jackets.

It's important to point out that when you finish your beer, you should under no circumstances throw the can into the trash. Recycle: someone wants that can and looking through the trash for it is demeaning. And the bag? Throw that down too, for it is art and someone may want to clean up after his dog anyway.

As for me, I have found a place on the internet where I can purchase my own black plastic bags (Ok, I didn’t look I just got them from the ghetto-mart, the one that complains to the landlord about the nice restaurant it shares the building with while selling whole pallets of Genesee each week.) Anyway, I got all these black plastic bags.

I am thinking of selling them next to the hot dog cart this weekend. So stop by and get a bag, so you can drink on the street too! Just remember, throw it in the air when you’re done. Make it rain!

SMC 12A.24.025 Unlawful consuming of liquor, opening a
container of liquor, or possessing an open container of liquor, each in a
public place.

Belltown's own crying indian

This morning as I was leaving to go run I passed a guy drinking a beer in front of the corner shop.
“Yum,” I thought.
He finished his beer and tossed it down on the sidewalk. This gentleman was one of several of the same mysterious-to-the-cops industrious young men that always stand there. They dress very similar to each other, perhaps to appear similar when the cops show, or maybe they are all in a boy-band. “B-boy’s Town?” On the way back from my run as I waited for the light to change in front of the cross-fit that isn’t open much I decided.
Come on.
I picked up the cans and the chee-toe bags from their feet and looked up and said,
“Man, can you believe people would disrespect OUR neighborhood like this? I mean you and I, we live here, why would they do that to us?”
I looked around, the trash can that used to be in front of the Ahjang market is now across the street. As I crossed the street, a lady dressed in the standard issue puffy nylon coat- maybe she’s going skiing later—says,
“Thas why they got street cleaners.”
“Yeah, but the city doesn’t seem to like to spend money, and I would rather they feed some folks that need it our use it for housing homeless.”
Now, I should stop here and say that I am an ethical person, but it is always OK to lie to a crackhead.
“besides, its not about hiring a street cleaner, You live here, I live here- this is your neighborhood, why would you allow (still pretending I don’t presume it was her and her pimp who tossed down the beers) someone to trash your home? “
“Sounds like you want to cal the cops, go on and call em.” She said.
“I don’t want more cops, I just want people to show some class, ya know?”
“I gots class, it wasn’t me!” She said as I left.

We can live and let live, and I certainly don’t want anyone getting hurt, but I am going to start to make my streets cleaner and try to get my neighbors (aka crackheads) to clean up after themselves. As I write this I know that Bedlam has done more for this neighborhood than any other organization or business in the city and I want to say it is with respect that I patronize them. But we’re numerous, and have less “business” risk than them so I suggest we start doing some browbeating. If you know anything about cocaine you know it makes people paranoid, so if we all start talking to crack heads and dealers about cleaning up, twenty different random people, sometimes several different ones in an hour- its going to be weird to them. And fun for us.